Last year, this post might have been easy. I loved Drama Club. This year, all of the "popular kids" whose judgement I could avoid at rehearsal took lead roles in the show. Our director, who was caring and understanding, was replaced by one who seems judgemental and seems to care more about his vision for the show than those trapped in his blind spot. I was happy with youth group in middle school and freshman year, but our youth minister left after 9th grade and none have stayed longer than a year since. Sure, I have friends and acquaintances, but I've never had a best friend - someone I could tell everything. My family loves the me they know, but I live in the constant fear of being disowned by half of my family because of my religion. The other half of my family just never seems to get it.
This weekend, I had the opportunity to have a conversation with some 9th and 10th graders and, specifically, to talk to them about love. When asking them what they loved, their answers were expected: running, friends, music. One girl, however, surprised and moved me. Her answer? Adoration. For those of you unfamiliar with adoration, I've uploaded images - one from Google, the other from a retreat I attended last summer. Basically, the Eucharist (which, through transubstantiation has become the body of Christ) is placed in a Monstrance (pretty gold "holder") and you pray before it. It sounds hokey, I know. I didn't understand it, either, until recently. I realized, though, that the mindset of Adoration is my Sacred Space. It is when I'm knelt before the Monstrance that silence is totally comfortable. I feel loved and accepted because all that matters is that the God of the Universe would rather die than spend Eternity without me. Adoration, to me, is timeless. I can be with 3,000 other people and feel like the only one in the room - no one else matters. The size of the room, the number of people, the noise, none of it is important because it's about God and myself.
My Sacred Space is almost entirely right brained. I treasure time spent in Adoration because of my faith and it is a non-temporal experience for me. I have had friends experience, during Adoration, being "slain in the Spirit" which is reminiscent of the trance-like state of the San. Those slain in the Spirit physically appear to pass out. I've never experienced it, but I've talked to others and they spoke of recieving messages to people from God. This likely sounds strange to most, but I can say with confidence that I feel most comforted and content during Adoration.
I really liked the way you began the post talking about your struggle with the concept and feeling like you didn't truly have a scared space, I deffinitly felt more intrigued about where you were going to take this, I think you should have explained the "churchy" terms a little bit more. because I'm a little lost on exactly what it all is. Even though I didn't understand what it all meant, I did understand why you consider it your scared space though which I feel as though means a lot. You did a good job explaining what about Adoration makes the expirence scared, and how that connects to what we've learned about right and left brain, so I applaud you. This post has been very well done.
ReplyDeleteI liked how honest you were in the post describing your struggle to find a sacred space. I think the fact that you were brave enough to share that made the impact of finding your sacred space more powerful for the audience. You were not afraid to be different and you described everything very well, aware of the fact that not everyone would understand. The detail you used describing what your sacred space is like made it very easy for me to picture. I enjoyed reading your post!
ReplyDeleteI found this very nice to read, and I especially appreciated how honest it was. Not in your struggle to find a sacred space, but in how honest you were about the struggles you had been facing in everyday life. Religion can also be an uncomfortable topic for people to discuss, so the amount of honesty you put into speaking about your faith makes this post extremely genuine. It's very cool that you were willing to open up the way you did.
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