Most of my posts on this blog have been something like this: "I'm Catholic so this is what we Catholics think about this." The basic idea of this one isn't very different. I believe that there is a Heaven and a Hell and that all will someday be judged based on how we chose to live our lives. This isn't just something I have always believed, but it took me a while to get to this point.
I'm not one of those teenagers you hear older people talk about. There are days, sure, when I feel like life is just a game and that, if you lose, you can just re-spawn and start again at a checkpoint. The rest of the time, though, I'm painfully aware of my mortality. This started when I was little - I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I thought I was destined to die young. My biggest fear isn't heights or spiders, but dying from some freak accident and not getting a chance to tie up loose ends. Most of the time, my existential crises come from thinking about the inevitable mortality of myself and everyone I love.
As I've grown in faith, some of these worries have lessened. I'm now aware that worrying about when I die, is useless. More important, however, is making sure that, whenever it happens, I'll be ready both spiritually but also that my earthly relationships will be in a place where those with whom I have interacted regularly will know that I love and care about them. I think it's important, while on Earth, to be as kind as possible to as many people as possible. This way, if you leave nothing else when you die, your smile or laugh will resonate in the lives of those whose days you've brightened.
The Heaven thing is a bit more complicated. Earthly death is inevitable, Heaven is doubted by many. I believe in Heaven because Earth is painful. There has to be something better than this. So many things are unfair and unexplainable in this world and I think of Heaven as somewhere where nothing hurts and everything makes sense. It's a place in which there is no loneliness and everyone gets what they deserve, none will go without.
I guess I believe in Heaven because it's gotten me through a lot. Whenever something is challenging or painful, it's comforting to know that there is a place where sickness and death are no more. Films such as Johnny and several years of pondering, pain, and reflection have gotten me to this point. Sometimes, it's hard to believe in the idea of Hell and think that your own father thinks that you're headed there, but the way I see it, as long as I believe in something and try to live the best I can, God and I can talk about the 'why' part when I get there. After all, that's what it's all about anyway - it's just me and God. If I lead others to him along the way, then I've done what I'm meant to do. Besides, if we're all destined for decomposition, there will be no one around to say they told me so.
(For those questioning the Heaven vs. Hell debate, I suggest the book Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo. If nothing else, it's an interesting story and makes a lot of great points on this debate.)
I really like reading your posts because you come from such a different background than I do, and it's really interesting to see what you have to say, but I feel as though you missed the mark on the subject of this blog. I liked reading it, and I think your post is well written, but you didn't touch upon what your life is after death. You explained what you feel heaven is and why you think it's important to strive to get there. I think you could have been more clear on your ascertion of that the way you live on after death is in heaven. I read another post similar to yours where the blogger imagined reuniting with loved ones and that second life with them is how you live on, but I didn't get that kind of definitive understanding of what way we live on in Heaven from you. Don't get me wrong, I throughly enojyed your post, but I think it could be brought back to the focus of the original purpose of the blog.
ReplyDeleteBrittany, you always do a very nice job balancing your Catholic background and your very real concerns -- you do not deny the part of you that struggles with these ideas and it makes your post much more relatable to a non-catholic like myself. I do think that you strayed a little bit from some of the original questions we were asked to address in the post, and I think that if you had talked about your feelings on reincarnation it could have made your blog a little more rounded out. Also, I have a question about your thoughts on heaven. When people see heaven is it exactly the same thing? Or does it vary from person to person? Is it a place or like some universal plane of thinking and understanding reached by those in the "next life"? Is what you think about the issue different from the idea preposed by the Catholic church? One thing about your post that I definitely agreed with is the idea that you can not worry too much about the exact guide to life and that you should just try to be a decent human being, because there is just so much uncertainty in life to worry about it. As per the usual, nice job!
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